Got home a little while ago...cried a lot...I wish I had someone right now..for always..but i don't ...today my dads lil bros wife was cryin in my shoulders...shes been a bitch to me ..shes lied to me parents about something i never did...but it surprises me to know that i can forget and move on....a couple of ppl at the mandir were talkin to my mom they were like you and your husband looked so good together...everywhere you went it looked like royalty..a match made in heaven wut happened....i sat there lost in my own thoughts wut life must be like after being with someone so long and suddenly being forced to be completely independant again...i can say i know this feelin i can relate..cause its something that i've always felt and even with finding a ray of hope i still feel this way....its always the guys.. the fights...somewhere else with someone else...another girl...oh yes the lonely nights...the nights that make u wonder ..then theres some other ppl who want you so bad no other event matters to them..a click of my fingers and there here from north to south west to east...and i'm so cruel to them...because there not wut i want..i don't want loneliness yes..but i don't need them to take it away...i need someone i want...but that someone is no where to be found...lifes cruel in ways i can't explain...i was tryin to talk to my friend random and ya she seemed tired of listenin to me and asked me " wut do u want me to do" and i had nothing to give as a response...at times i just want to leave everything behind....my mom doesn't understand me i am my only hope at times...i force myself to stand..but it hurts both physically and emotionally...spirtually i'm a mess...i need to get back into my beliefs...
but i feel like i should leave and disappear ..have a fresh start...maybe one day..
one day
these emotions will get the better of me and i will take that new start
maybe
sometimes you give someone everything (literally everything) and just from that one person you expect something back ..just from that one no one else but them...but its a slow process...one i may not be able to take anymore...holdin on but slowly losin my grip
About Me
- ~Death Before Dishonor~
- its my thoughts that i'd rather have understood...because to understand me is complicated Letal...... Not your average..... Underestimated.... Caring... Warm hearted.. Loyal.
1 comment:
Your emotions will never get the better of you unless you give them permission to do this, you and only you control your emotions. you can have a fresh start any time you like, its a desision you make, you can just turn over a new leaf, trust me, ive been there. And you say about litterally giving someeone everything and them not giving anything back, well this is where you learn who is friend or foe. But i just want to say, i know from expiriance its easier to talk to someone you dont know, so if you ever need to talk, or advice or just someone to listen im happy to do that.
xx
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