Doesn't matter what your friends are telling you

Doesn't matter what my family's saying yoo

It just matters that I'm in love with you

It only matters that you love me too

It doesn't matter if they won't accept you

I'm accepting of you and yhe things you do

Just as long as its you

Nobody but you, baby baby

My love for you, unconditional love yoo

Gotta get up, get up

Get up, get up , get up and show you that it

Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeiong

cause i'm in love with the inner being

and it doesn't really matter what they believe

what matters to me is your for me

( you're so kind)

Just what I asked for, you're so loving and kind

( and your mine)

and i can't believe your mine

Doesn't matter if you're feeling insecure

Doesn't matter if you're feeling so unsure

Cause I'll take away the doubt within your heart

And show that my love will never hurt or harm

Doesn't matter what the pain we go through

Doesn't matter if the money's gone too

Just as long as I'm with you

Nobody but you, baby, baby

Nelly:Would you be my girlfriend? (uh, eh, eh)
uh, would you be my girl?
would you be my (would you be my girlfiend)
uh, eh, would you be my
check it, check it: he dont want u like i want u
believe me boo i done told, yeah
he dont appreciate u mom i can tell by the way he hold u
he dont love u like i do love u he dont squeeze u like i
squeeze i make yo neck pop back and in fact ill bubble yo knees
hey okay, baby, whats it gon take for u to be my lady? (tell me right now)
i hear yo friends say u should, yo parents say he was good
yo lil sister kick yall and helly i wish u would
but ur hesitating debatin whether or not its real
i aint shootin game thru im just tellin u how i feel
im thinkin everything about u yo hips and the way they sway
i hate to see u leave boo but i love to see u walk away
i be yo personal shrink boo i care what u thinki bout to billy and pink cuz my doe *nsync
so tell yo man (bye bye) and tell him u long (gone)
and if he aint waitin of u then find u another (home)
Justin:I dont know why u care (why u thinkin about him mama?)
he doesnt even know your there
cuz he dont love your eyesand he dont love your smile
girl you know that ain’t fairthe middle of the night, is he gonna be by your side
or will he run and hideu dont know cuz things aint clearand baby when u cry, is he gonna stand by your side
does the man even know your alive
i got an idea
why don’t you be my girlfriend
i'll treat ya good (ill treat ya good girl)
i know u hear your friends when they say you should
cuz if u were my girlfriendi'd be your shining start
he one that show u where u aregirl you should be my girlfriend
does he know what ya feel (does he know what u feel?)
are u sure that its real (r u sure?)does he ease your mind (no)
or does he break your stridedid ya know that love could be a shield yeah
the middle of the night, is he gonna be by your sideor will he run and hide
u dont know cuz things aint clearand baby when u cry, is he gonna stand by your side
does the man even know your alivei got an idea
Nelly:would u be my girlfriendi'll treat ya goodi know u hear your friends when they say you should
cuz if u were my girlfriend (uh, uh, uh, uh)
i'd be your shining star (id be the one that shine for ya girl)
the one that show u where u are (ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)
girl you should be my girlfriend
Nelly:be my fiancee, cute as beyonceghetto like da brat, ready to scrap when i say
talents of alicia fall ms keysill take yo hips off trina, lips off eveill treat u so high on the better it might make yo nose bleedsew yo dash around yo ankles and watch yo toes freeze
whats wrong momma? the man aint bringin u joy?
dont trip flip yo script to a country boy now cmon
Justin:ever since i saw your face
nothing in my life has been the samei walk around just sayin your name
without you my world would end
I’ve searched around this whole damn place
and everythings says you were meant to be my girlfriend - oh!
Why don’t you be my girlfriend yeahi'll treat ya goodi know u hear your friends when they say you should(i know u hear your friends when they say you should)
cuz if u were my girlfriend (my girlfriend)
i'd be your shining starthe one that show u where u aregirl you should be my girlfriend

Ok so where do i start after being stressed about exams all day i finally come home thinking i'm gonna go to my cousins and help them move but that was sadly not the case...lol..instead random came over and we went to the movies and wut an interesting night that was i must say...lol.

every 20 minutes "why god , why must u hate me" randomly well then again wut ever can we expect from the queen of randomness..this pardeep character is becoming a hassle..lol

white ave to the movies to their make out scenes random wutever will i do with you ..in the whole process of her interesting soap opera ppl became interested in who my bf was ..lol..i think the new title of the soap will be days in the life of jocelyn & random

today was just weird we were goin by tunnus house and mny moms like there were cops there so i freaked out and went and there was tunnus mom talkin in gujju to her dipper neighbors..lol..i go inside and tunnu's standin there lookin at me oddly..shes like ya i'm fine some idiots stole $400 from our house and an HBC rewards card and the wallet was put in the mail box with the remainin items...very odd so hopefully the cops will get down to the bottom of that story

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 3 was actually good better than the 2nd one completely better ...some scenes i could relate to..a lot more than ur casual person wud be able too

all in all me n random had a great time..lol..thats just too much randomness in one whole day it made up for the days she wasn't as random..lol..and oddly trouble seems to follow especially when it comes to guys ..i love my cute and random sis..theres no more words to describe..

Ok so things havn't been going too well theres things that are bothering me yet i have no idea wut they are and its driving me crazy...i've been so stressed lately just about everything i guess..i havn't gone for so many medical tests and i don't know why i havn't bothered maybe its because asides from me no one really knows wuts going on and that gives me an excuse to not go..if that made any sense...

I'm having so much difficulty concentrating in school , its like no matter what i do i can't get anything accomplished, I honestly just feel like dropping out or something but what would come after that? Options 1) Fast Food Worker 2) Bum on the street

My parents are driving me insane as well, i hate it when theres so much pressure on me to make other peoples choices i mean i shouldn't have to, but then again they are my parents all i 've been saying to them when either one asks me on getting back together is i dunno what do you think about, take it slow see how things go. basically i'm answering a question with another question. Lately, i've just turned into this overly caring person that gets fed up easily and ends up looking like a bitch. I mean does it even matter anymore what people should think about you we think what we want to think about a person. Were seen as they want us to be seen as my psychology teacher was telling us. My whole life i wanted to associate my personality with a career and pyschology was it, only problem is i take other peoples problem as my own good thing and bad both at once. They say the suicide rate in that field is high because most time psychologists start treating themselves when they relate themselves to mental stress/disorder.

I really don't know what to do but i'm scared that for once i'm not going to be able to help myself find an answer to any of this

Sometimes people ask me why my name says tears in paradise...
and to all of them i say that my blog name is tears in paradise because...life is suppose to be this great paradise the grand finals that determine where we go on afterwards..in some sense heaven and hell are here...or atleat the feelings are...all in all it is a preparation yet in all its beauty there will always be tears cause nothing is perfect not even the prettiest face..flower..etc we all have a scar

our past is our past its best when its left that way..who knows wut we may end up unveiling..

things we missed..things we never want to see or experience again
yet even in the moments it comes back to haunt us all we can say is this "from now on it can never be the same as before..cause the place i'm from doesn't exist anymore..the point of no return
even in our most distinct memories we still can't return there..and hope to god we never have to

seconds hours days months years decades centuries anything can happen cherish wut u have never give up on wut it is that u want and fight for the one thing u love with everything u have..i know i am i'm diein inside for a glimpse ..a moment in those arms..and a stab at anything that tries stopping me

Memories last forever

many people are lucky enough to have someone in their life that they can call their own...that tell u how much they love you..thats asks you will you ever find someone as good of a friend like me....someone who tells u don't worry i'm here...

but others are not so lucky...cause they can't ask for that much love or affection from anyone cause they've never known the feelin to them..and there scared if they get it from someone if its actually gonna last...

i needed to go somewhere today...my dads birthday was yesturday...dinner plans were for today if he didn't have work..but today just like he was with my mom he got called by an uncle and he didn't bother to call or anything...he gave us the choice of comin i said i'd let him know and that probably i would come over..he left no phone calls no nothing...i'd ask my mom to go where i wanted to go..but she prefers not goin there...and i told her i needed to go to my dads asap...and she was upset cause she wanted to go to my aunts...she took us to her house so we could pack our things to go to my dads house..then she asked us to call him to tell him to pick us up..but he wasn't home to pick up ..she was a lil upset...i started watchin a music video for a dance i was goin to do in a few weeks...just to see wut they were wearing something easier to move in..slowly i started watchin the whole movie..and she joined me...later complainin...6:00 i was like can u take me dads not home i really need to go...i really do..she said nothing...7:20ish the movie ended and she was done prayin..and she gave a lot of attitude..sayin really unpleasant things..i asked her why she wudn't go ..and she told me i was a cold person..really different.not hindustani..wow one blow after another...then she told me that she hoped that gods grace would be with me in the future in a sarcastic voice...and i had ..had it..only god can judge me only he can determine how faithful i am to me..i refuse to be accused of untrue things and i cudnt handle it anymore and i said in order to pray one must have a clean ..peaceful ..heart..she was upset..we both were..one thing led to another.she tried puttin my bro into it.and i stopped her cause i cud see the look in his eyes the same look i had when my parents use to argue...i cudn't bear seein the look in his eyes i just cudn't...i stopped her..do wutever u please with me ..say wutever..leave him out of it..and she did ..i came home to my dads...i cudn't stop cryin..am i really that bad of a person am i really? how can someone make their mom cry so much..yes i am cold i am a sinner...but atleast this coldness doesn't abandon me..it doesn't ever tell me if i don't go with them anywhere that it will just take someone else along..it does not keep things from me...it doesn't accuse me or condemn me..i left the house took a walk it was 8:00pm i thought i could go to the park and sit cry..my thinkin place..but no even that is impossible in my world because the cars don't leave me alone...they follow and roll down the windows and say things..confuse me with someone else..or just wanna know who i am..ah yes the ones who wanna take advantage from my misery ..make it a playful game for themselves..ladies and gentlemen no one ...is there when u turn around absolutely no one ..no one..the only thing i saw was a shadow ..my own shadow followed by darkness..a darkness darker than the night itself..i no longer want to be saved from it..i am the queen of it covered by its blankets ..friends family...have no worries i will still be there for you..but the kingdom of darkness i will save you from ..because it belongs to me alone..only mine

~Angel~


Spend all time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always some reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the dayI need some distraction
Oh, beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
And may be empty
Oh, how weightless,
Then maybe ill find some peace tonight.
In the arms of the angel
Far away from here
From this dark cool hotel roomand the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
So tired of the straight life
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
Keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lackI
t don't make no difference escape them one last time
It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness
Oh, this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees
In the arms of the angel
Far away from here
From this dark cool hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here.

I don't know how or why i came up with this but it randomly happened as i was studying for my exams.....just a few thoughts on what it should be like

Love should be understanding
Love should have no faults because no man is perfect
Love should not have jealousy
Love should be compromising
Love shouldn't be about keeping score
Love should not be a competition
Love should be caring and loyal
Love should not be full of excuses
Loves mistakes shouldn't be for the other partner to repeat to become even
Love should give you strenght
Love should show you light in darkness
Love should be a personal comfort zone
Love should have no fights
Love shouldn't be commanding
Love should be a sacrifice
Love bears pain for others at the expense of ones own tears in order to be true
Love should be happiness even in pain
Love should not be greedy but protected
Love should have no fear
Love is willing commitment
Love should be found in every heartbeat..every tear drop..smile..frown..both ups n downs..for love stands in everything
Love should be mature yet not so mature that it becomes a routine
Love should be strong yet innocent
Love once found is not needed to ever be refound but sealed and kept while cherished
Love communicates when in doubt
Love does not settle for less
Love is an adventure...
Love is destiny...
Love shouldn't be one sided but equal
Love should always be felt without any doubt
Love should be trust
Love bears pain of both partners equally..
Love is two minds..two souls..two hearts becoming one
Love is gentle in the way hands find each other..in hugs..n kisses

Theres so much that can be said but still it isn't expressed enough...for me i'd say shortly that love is the thing that keeps me breathin ...keeps me up ...whether that love be for a friend a foe..or someone special...to me love is my life