exams are making me go crazy
its no wonder my sickness isn't going away...i'm stressing so much
:S

i think i saw an idiot from a short time ago that i erased from my memory . . .he was with his cousin i think and of course with the once long ago friend that i have also erased
i did not look at them...my friends did but i chose not to and i'm glad
because my eyes were meant to look at the beautiful and better looking things in life not the face of a dark...atrocious ..liar

happy thoughts crossed my mind because somewhere up there someone was happy with me and they made me realize who was worth having in my life and who wasn't

this life isn't short in my opinion...it is very long...and karma does exist
if its not now ....it'll be later happiness and sorrow go hand in hand...what rises up comes down at one point as well...

me ...well i like where i stand not up not down just in between
i watch those that fall from the high place they seem to pretend they are in
i watch those that have fallen and remain there
and the very few that know how to get to the stable place i'm in

mine ..urs...their's
what does it matter
you came alone
you die alone
you came with nothing
you leave with nothing
whats yours now
tomorrow will be someone elses
open your eyes and see the real world...
fairytales and eternal life best be kept in dreams

it was just yesturday that i was reminded of how soothing your voice can really be at times
how soft your skin is against mine
and it was then i realized that you'll always be my love
i'm happy i'm getting back pieces of you that once were taken from me
but now they're back and i hold your heart and you hold mine
and thats how it'll always be forever and always
remember just like we used to say :D

left .....right
up......down
side...to side
or all around
i'm in between your unreasonable feud
change the typical empires fall everyday....yes its true people die to
but empires and people can be saved ...(isn't this more of a worthy challenge ?????)


so frustrated
2hrs of math & bio a day till diplomas oh so much fun :'(
novel study in between
cherry to the lovely cake a sickness that hasn't gone away for months ...stupid antibiotics don't flippin work

so much has happened through this last month...i'm still kinda tired out from it all
everyones changing only a few actually remain the same

asad: u fob where the hell do i start with you...your becoming more of a fob day by day and no its not because of me :P thanks for being there on my birthday wish you could have been there for everything else but atleast i got to see you afterwards. Want to chill and do something fun without the countless strings attached ..hope we can achieve that

mahmoud: i'm not weird ok ..you are :P i wish you were here all the time its like a never ending wish, dream, what ever you want to call it. Theres so much i wish you could be around for i really do. But i guess i'm lucky enough to communicate somehow

yogi: hahaha for gods sake leave betty and bob alone you and moreen all night thats all that was talked about...they need there attention too thats all i'm gonna say :P lol..i can't believe i just wrote that ..thanks for coming but ..funny how are situations are usually alike

Moreen: thanks for coming to everything and being there for me it was lots and lots of fun it really was i enjoyed..i came back to school on monday expecting people to tell me about the fun they had but surprisingly majority of everyone went home afterwards and fell asleep...i'm really glad i did more than that and had fun with the people that actually mattered..the pics look really nice..can't wait for our slumber party night :D

Lucky: Where do i start with you..your such an awesome guy ..as odd as it is sometimes how much we have in common now and in our past i love that we do..were like twins ..i really enjoy spending time with you and talking to you..for once it feels like i found someone who truly understands where i'm coming from we both analyze things the same way...i love our differences as well because it makes everything else interesting...ghost stories was hillarious..thanks for being there for me ...i really love us chillin and your honesty

AR: your so awesome ..your always calling me and texting me sometimes i'm like ok i'm really fine you can stop callin and texting..but i realize that it be weird if you didn't one day ...its like a part of my day would be incomplete somehow....thanks for being there for me your truly a good guy and i have faith your going to make it far in life i just know you will

Tunnu: Thanks for coming out on my special nights your an amazing friend even though we usually don't get to talking that much when we get the chance to chill the time that was lost always seems to be made up somehow...you've become apart of the family in a sense..we all love you..including my friends ..thanks hun

Hassan: i was surprised to hear the things you said and the questions you asked after a point i thought you were never going to realize where i had come from when i started talking to initially i'm glad you've realized things but its unfortunate the time it took you to do that...what we had then can't be re-gained but i'm always still here for you to talk whenever you need to

Sachin: I'm not in agreement with your decisions and ways of handling your stress and problems its just small steps to a bigger downfall...i also hate how you tried to cause an argument between me and my sister ...both of us are over that but were not going to forget which makes it harder for me to trust you 100% ...i'm here for you always but I hope you come to the point where you realize that time to get it all together is running out its now or never....your capable of achieving alot

Nina: you've changed hun...your not like you used to be..in a way you are but you seem so lost now and i think i've lost you...hope we can maintain a friendship...miss the moments we used to have ...i only wish you would communicate more to tell me what it is that made you change

So much that i try to fix
so much that doesn't even need fixing

so much that i would like to accomplish
so much that i don't even want to try

so much i wish could happen
so much i wish wouldn't happen at all

everything has an opposite to it i guess
but i guess what makes me stunned the most is how i am somehow always losing control of my emotions ...there are times where I am able to maintain some kind of control over it and on those days i feel like a cold lonely stone...without the feeling of being lonesome though..its akward

longing for so much . . ... .. sadly it'll remain that way

http://neon.imeem.com/video/mfa_TSfK/i_dont_wanna_know/
I just can't believe this
This is enough of this thought,
Can't get this out of my head,
Somebody said they saw you
The person you were with wasn't me
And I would never ask you
I just kept it to myself

I don't want to know
If you're playing me
Keep it on the low
Cuz my heart cant take it anymore
And if you're creeping
Please don't let it show
Oooh baby, I don't want to know

Does she touch you better than me(Touch you better than me)
Does she watch you fall asleep (watch you fall asleep)
Does she show you love this way and the things you do to me (do to me baby)if you're better off that way (better off that way)baby all that I can say (all that I can say)
Go on and do your thing and don't come back to me(Stay away from me Baby)

I don't wanna know where your Whereabouts or how you movin
I know when you in the house or When you cruising
It's been proving
My love you abusing
I cant understand how a girl
Got you choosin
Undecided I came and provided, My undivided
You came and denied it(why)
Don't even try it,
I know when you lying
Don't even do that
I know why you crying (stop cryin)
Im not applying no pressure, I Just want to let you know
That I don't want to let you go
And I don't want to let you leave
Cant say I didn't let you breath
Now it's time you invest in me
Cuz if not then its best you leave

http://kaylav.imeem.com/video/vzkoXF1R/ashanti_foolish/
I hate what you have done to my heart
all the little games you play
All that you leave me in the dark about
Your apparent wife and girl'
yet you trust others more than me ..and I...
I trusted you so much then
now i don't know if your words are that of love or apart of a plot to win me
you don't seem to believe in the sweet honey drops of words you once spoke to me
so much is heard through my ears and i am my own joker
i pretend to have known all along and pretend to be fine with it all
to most things i am to others not so much
i wish i could say never again and close my eyes and shut the doors to my heart
but i am not like that you see
once you have opened these doors they will always be open to you
they say to forgive those who ask for forgiveness but you have not done so
if you had things would be different there would be no feud
i miss the mornings and lunches
i miss the moments we'd stare at the sky and just loose ourselves in wonder
but you have told me that ..that kind of simplicity is not meant to be lived by you
akward to hear you speak those words being a man who has spoken about nothing but simplicity to me not so long ago
you have taken sides to some degree with enemies of mine you have not seen it like that yet
i have made exceptions to some extent because your were never one of them because you see you held my heart from the start
that is the reason you are not one of them


A mother who i have never gotten the chance to see or talk to was taken away from this world
yet it is today that i am finding this out
the tears rage inside my eyes and my heart has a fire around it that burns so fierce
I am paraded with the thought that i am only able to do so little for a brother who i love so much
the world can call him anything to me hes my brother
there is no truth that he can tell me that will ever make me leave him
yet even then i'm in the dark so often but hes letting in light more now than he did before
he has made me a promise and i have made mine to him

I am kind in a manner that benefits all ..when i am cruel it will be in a manner that will ruin all

"Empires are not brought down by outside forces... they are brought down by forces within"
let all loyalty, honor, trust , and love be tested
i desire the truth

all the people i care about under one roof :)
i must say i'm kinda excited.....so much to do :(